Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I lost the love of my life today, Diviana...

she was someone that stuck by me literally for 11 years when I was both at my best & at my worst. She was more than my other half, I could never be as good as her... she encouraged me to love even when I didn't want to & now she's encouraging me to fight as I frantically search for the strength to go on the rest of my life without her. I never even intended to have her, but I'm glad I had that $50 in my glove compartment box all those years ago to purchase her.

I can't stop thinking about how people could go on & think that God doesn't have a sense of humor. He's like... "I'm going to give you this warm, fuzzy life & it will love you unconditionally for it's ENTIRE life like no human possibly can. It will encourage you, stay by you, honor you & be euphoric by your touch... but it will never speak to you to tell you they're hurt, or to go screw yourself if you give them nasty food they don't like or that they're sick or need your help. They will LOAD you up with kisses & keep you up at night with their farts & their snoring Oh & in the state of California by law you HAVE to pick up their CRAP! They will make you laugh all the time & you will feel sheer terror every time you drive to the vet the whole way there making promises that are nearly impossible to keep when you wait for the Dr to say they will be ok & you will only have them *he squeezes his index finger & thumb together* for this amount of time OH & ONE year is equal to SEVEN friggin' years... HA! Good luck with that"

Thank you Diviana Ophelia Guerrier, my D.O.G. for CHOOSING me, for LOVING me & sticking around long enough to see me follow my dream. My greatest loss is the honor I had to be your Mother here on this earth... being loved by you has been my GREATEST experience & achievement. Make sure to find my Grandmother today & I look forward to seeing both of your faces, first when I'm blessed enough to meet you at the wonderful place you are both at. Today I feel incomplete... may feel this way for a while but having you these past 11 years truly was a gift from our very funny God.

A mir, mir Mami... fais do do Cherie. I love you, thank you for loving me.


  1. I'm sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you.

  2. That was so beautiful. So are you, & so is Divi. She will live forever in your soul. Losing a child, a sibling, or a parent is the hardest thing in the world. It will never get "easy", but it will get a little "better" with time. Much love- Dawn

  3. Awww I'm soo sorry!! I lots my dog when I was 13... so a long time ago, but I still remember everything like it was yesterday. And I still miss her like crazy. But it does get better and the memories will always be with you. xoxo!