How I Roll: Reality Bites

SO on top of searching, packing, moving & unpacking last week I was gone for 9 days working on a Nickelodeon Family Cruise BIG shout out for my LB Gay CC for looking out for me & getting me this fantastic gig! ♥I WUV HIM!!!♥ The kids were amazing & it was so nice to be around families, not too many of those out here in La La Landia (crazy that I experienced more reality on a cruise being around families for 7 days than the "reality" of living in LA... FAR OUT!)

Everyone that worked on the cruise was INCREDIBLE too! I can't get over how blessed I was to be around such a fantastic organization, fabulous food, a good friend, play Rockband, make arts & crafts, sun & fun made new friends AND got paid for it?!?!? OOOOOOOh AND... I got slimed!!! I lived 2 80's fantasies in one, recreating the famous scene from Flashdance & getting slimed, I didn't have to say "I don't know" either... damn me dating myself on here!


Gotta LOVE the Nickelodeon Family Cruise stamp on here & I go off & do this... there's something wrong with me!
It was a 7 day cruise on Royal Caribbean's Mariner of the Seas to the Mexican Riviera... Cabo, Mazatlan & Puerto Vallarta! I have been dy-ING to go there since the Love Boat days & Julie would say "welcome to beautiful Poorrrrrrrrrrrrto Vayartaahhhh" when will I learn to stop dating myself on this thing? Cabo was awesome... as usual, been going there for years. Maztlan is what Chris & I coined as the taint of Mexico, well that's what I called it... CC's version as awesomely clever as it was should not be repeated on a Foodie website, he did keep the taint part though HA!!! I WUV him!!!



One of my favorite moments was when I had breakfast with this fantastic guy named Charlie & I asked him about his story. He's first Gen like me (first generation American) his family is from Thailand. He did the whole school thing, got an Engineering Degree from Duke University but it was when he was in college & he saw a Mascot on the court at a Basketball game that he found his true calling. I LOVE meeting passionate people & it was SO intriguing to me to get such a beautiful slice of life from this truly awesome character, hell he's a character literally. I found myself having to remind myself to breathe... his conviction about his life & his passion was so strong, I was mesmerized by his every word. ♥
All my life I have been entertained by Mascots & Characters & I swear all I have ever thought was "damn it must be hot in there, are there little fans or something in there?" I never thought of it as being someone's passion... someone's dream. I swear he was honestly thee most passionate person I have ever met. He could make six figures & do the corporate thing, hell he was so handsome & charismatic he could be a martial arts super star in the movies & here I thought people like him were hiding behind a mask but what he does by entertaining others & making them happy he removes there's. I wish Charlie the very best he is SO GOOD at what he does. He played several characters on the cruise & I stood in awe at every single one of them. ♥♥♥♥



The food on the cruise as well as on land was incredible. Some of the kids & I started a "Dinner Club" & would meet in the dining room at 6:30 everyday. Grace, our FAVORITE server catered to our every whim & entertained us, I swear whenever I couldn't decide on what to eat, I just ordered multiples I also had bacon, waffles & fried rice for breakfast every morning... I'm DISGUSTING, wait not together I would start with the fried rice, I was FASCINATED that one can have fried rice for breakfast & if you've EVER been to LA our Chinese food is atrocious!Then I made the waffles like my breakfast dessert, breakfast dessert I am an ass, mind you I had the audacity to have sugar free syrup to feel better about myself... GNARLY!

Screw it I was on a cruise, rock climbing, walking around the cities for hours & chasing around Rugrats, how much weight could I possibly gain? Oh contraire mon frere... 10 flip flappin lbs in 9 DAYS!!!! I was already on a mission to lose 12 lbs in time for my brother's wedding next month WHICH LISTEN TO THIS... will be filmed by MTV, they're even filming a segment about me catering his rehearsal dinner.... uh uh uh UHHHHHHHHHHHH I just want my old arms back & eat fried rice for brekkie is that too much to ask?!?!?

On Monday I started The Master Cleanse, I'm at the halfway point, day 5 I've lost 7.5 lbs already & dying to eat something. I'd like to say my sole purpose of doing this is to lose the weight but honestly I am just TOXIC from all the food I consumed, especially all that meat. I ate so much meat a cow should come over here & kick my ass. I'm not miserable about not eating, just waiting to get over the hump of feeling lethargic still waiting for my energy to kick in, my dog's actually kind of happy I'm not as toxic, dude... you know it's bad when your own dog is sleeping on the floor & not the bed by choice because of the greenhouse gases being omitted, once again TMI, I have no filter... sorry.

My roommate on the other hand is not too happy. Poor kid, before I left I cooked for him everyday since day 1, he got all used to it I leave for a week & am like "I'm not cooking for 10 days"... terrible I have to make it up to him BIG time! OH he & Mimi had a FANTASTIC idea, they are going to buy food one night every week, I have no idea what it is & I have to make something fantastic of whatever mystery ingredients they buy.

We have coined this day "What the What Wednesday" as soon as I'm done detoxing (in 5 more days) I will introduce the blogoshepere to the WTW Wednesday's edition. I can't imagine a better way to make good use out of a humpday... well maybe I can find a slightly better use out of a humpday with someone actually humpi... WAIT... WHAT THE WHAT?!?!?! TMI AGAIN MANOUSCHKA!!!! *snort* HA! Alright, let me get out of here & catch Julie & Julia♥



Rockband!
Yuuuuuuuuum Escargot

Shrimp cocktail
Duck with potato croquettes

Seeing Cabo from my balcony when we arrived.
This is what I found in my room one day, Nickelodeon ROCKS!!!

CC & I enjoying the awesome deals in Cabo

The best $2 ceviche I have EVER had!
Titan in Mazatlan
Filet of Beef
Creme Brulee
The Patrick I made in Arts & Crafts & I hit a beach bar in Puerto Vallarta
Round 1
Round 2
Round 3
Round 4
Poor Patrick after round 5
Patrick had enough at round 6
CC's amazing Wonder Woman tattoos
Bryan
CC & I in PV
Patrick after our glorious 2 hour massage. I was so relaxed I ended up leaving him in the cab on the way back to the boat :-(
My Steward made a different towel animal everyday, loved the monkey
Crabcake
Pork Loin
More meat
One of Grace's many tricks.... dancing forks on a toothpick
Tempura Mahi Mahi & Shrimp with Bok Choy

How SICK is this? Rock climbing on a boat!

Wedgie up the wrong way
My favorite baby

it came with butter AND shrimp
added more butter
Ordered the Top Angus also & made myself a....
SURF 'N Turf!!!
A menage a trois of slap nasty goodness
Da Da Da Da Da Dora... LOVE her & Diego!
With Nat & friends making the new Patrick
My new Patrick in the "jungle"
Katie with new Patrick
My fvorite twins
My favorite family dressed as their favorite character Patrick, with new Patrick

BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUE!!!!!!With my favorite toddler
Ang from Avatar
Leigh & I on the last night

How I Roll: Oh Well We're Movin' On Up

The End of an Era♥
Sorry for the LONG delay between blog posts as I have been busy looking for a place to live. Well I found a place & just moved in on July 15th. It was CRAZY so much went wrong on my search but then I found a place & at the last minute my happy place became a lover lost. I found a GREAT roommate & a great place in the Fairfax district, I spoke about this place in an earlier blog. It was TOTALLY what I was looking for & the potential roommate Derek & I seemed like a perfect fit. Unfortunately after days I believed I was going to move in his Landlord pulled a fast one.

He denied me due to breed discrimination. Divi's a pitbull & although she is thee most loving thing I have EVER known this dude was NOT budging... I was devastated, discouraged & then frustrated. The search was on again & there was more sifting through garbage & driving around town. Some people should be ASHAMED of themselves trying to rent out these human toilets & calling them apartments!

After several agonizing days I found 2 spots to pick from, it literally became a tale of 2 stoves One place was in Beverly Hills with a classic PERFECT condition Merritt & O'Keefe stove. The girl was cool but there was no parking, we would have to share a bathroom, no AC & she kind of had the place set up to her own standards (which weren't pretty high, I'm going to go to hell for that). I didn't feel like there was any room for me. Even though I was looking for a beautiful vintage spot with French Windows, wood floors & tons of character & this place had all of that seeing that stove already had me planning a garage sale in my head & living in tacky Swedish do it yourself blondewood furniture from the 80's mixed with Out of the Closet (a thrift store here in LA, please... if it was a Gay man's furniture store the pieces would've been slam-MING!) & street finds. Screw it my ever expanding butt can afford to park a few blocks away from the house anyways

I NEVER even seen one with a perfect Grillerator

After a few days something was gnawing at me... something about the place didn't feel right even though I stared at the pictures of the oven on my iPhone everyday for hours on end. I also was getting REALLY discouraged at the other 40 places I looked at. It was hot & I was just sick of the driving & feeling like I had nowhere to go. I literally had 2 weeks to find a place because I was already 2 weeks into my 30 day notice. Frustrated I decided to look at places that were a bit above my budget & then I saw this stove.
I emailed the guy who put the ad up within minutes after he put it up. He checked out my blog, hell HE'S A MASSIVE FOODIE!!! He loved the blog & invited me over the next day.
Divi & I marched our butt's right over. I wasn't going to see it because I wanted to move in but I was more curious to see how the other half lives. It was blocks away from my house & on Runyon Canyon a very popular hiking spot in Hollywood. Now Mike told me the kitchen was very impressive before I went there so Div & I were stoked. It was $125 over my budget, when I set a price for something I HAVE to stick to it, rarely do I make exceptions, it really is a gift... ok fine I'm a cheap bastard & rather spend my money on shoes & French cast iron! *snort*


Guess who won?!?!?










Drum roll please...

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This is the very first thing I see EVERY morning I wake up... *swooooooooooooooon* ♥


So now let me set you up with the rest of the stuff this PHAT, FAT crib I am blessed to live in:


Guest bath




WALK-IN PANTRY!!!

Before:
AFTER ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥


Did I mention there is CENTRAL AC, my OWN bathroom & GUEST PARKING?!?!?! *swoon* oh & this!
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I've been living in LA for 11 years WITHOUT a Washer & Dryer in the house. Whenever my mother visits she says "Yeuh-ECK... you wash your panties where strangers wash there socks & sneakers & pay quarters for it?!?!?" I LOVE my Mom ♥

No walking blocks for parking when I can go 1 flight down & work it all out in here:

My MASSIVE room


YUP I ended up having a garage sale & what didn't sell I just left outside. It was like a field day for 2 days watching people like Mothers & Daughters going through & grabbing all the great stuff I left out there. It was so liberating to just not be attached to all that stuff, like I get this grand do-over


Winston aka "DA MONSTER" showing Divi around the place before we moved in, his face is so edible... we cruise all day, that's when I am not pulling random objects outside of his mouth, thank GOD he has small teeth & his jaw doesn't lock like Divi's I'd be assed OUT!

I get a new chance, Divi gets a new friend...and at the end so do I.

I love, love, LOVE living the Single life but being single does not define me. I live my life now in preparation for my future. I don't want when I am ready to settle down & to have my own family that I'm still trying to figure myself & life out. I want to be a complete person, well at least a more seasoned & understanding one. I've always wanted someone to be my exclamation point, not my period. Someone that makes me better. I don't want to figure out who I am while taking care of others, but I have to admit all this time I was prepping myself I forgot how great it is to have someone to come home to & vice versa. I was becoming... I don't want to say self-involved but just disconnected & a bit jaded about having to share my life & witnessing anothers.

My roommate is AH-MAY-ZING! His positivity is infectious, he's so respectful & super easy going. He's a REALLY hard worker but you can totally tell there is a method to his work madness, he fully appreciates the fruits of his labor & is comfortable in sharing it. I'm not used to seeing that it's really refreshing. I love to hear his girlfriend Mimi's laugh when she comes over. She too is a ridiculous foodie. They've been to some of thee best restaurants in the country, I saw with my own eyes, she has them all in her scrapbook... too cute & she's pretty gifted in the kitchen herself. I am totally inspired by their culinary prowess ♥

I couldn't be happier with the direction my life is going & I am a convert in believing that the best possible outcome for your life is available to you, even when you don't get what you want. I feel so blessed to have my family back me up on EVERY level as I pursue my culinary dreams & the support & love from my friends, especially my new ones. I hope you all forgive me for taking so long. I just wanted to find my home, get settled & enjoy it for a while before I headed back to the blogosphere. I missed you all ♥

Now get ready bitches...

Food For Thought: I went to Michael Jackson's Memorial, thank you Sharette for inspiring me to write about this

Decided to add another topic to the blog, "Food For Thought"... TOTALLY inspired from Michael's Memorial I attended yesterday. I was at a Chinese Restaurant with my best friend Kenny when the news broke. I remember sitting there & running the gamut of emotions in a matter of a few minutes not giving each a proper amount of time to feel any of them for too long because I was wrestling with EVERYTHING at the same time! Does that make sense? Anywho...

To me... there are four sides to the Icon. The music, the message the memories & the Man. I mourned the loss of the Man in '93 when the first accusations came out I judged him by what my eyes saw, the stories I have heard & this anger I held in my heart. I myself was molested by a trusted family member that I admired so much, so I have a hard time believing a grown man could share a bed with a child & avoid touching them or exposing themselves to a child in an inappropriate manner. This fueled my rage & my distrust in Men grew, but the music & memories lived on for me.

To hear a MJ song at a club with your friends & you're all having a blast you instinctively remember the exact moment you heard it the first time, where you were, what you wore & who you were with... that is an incredible feat for a human being to accomplish to have such an effect on so many people that they are literally the soundtrack of that person's life & NOT just mine... my Grandmother, my parents, my brother, all of my friends & everyone spanning three generations were a fan. That too is no easy task.

I was invited to the Memorial, literally the day after he died. I resisted... I was angry at how everyone, especially my friends with children were so broken up about his loss. I was angry how the day before he died he was "Whacko Jacko" & the day of he was once again The King of Pop. I was angry that I was duped to believe he was this great Man when I was a child with his charitable dispositon & music that wanted to share the notion of peace, love, acceptance & strength through adversity yet his face was changing constantly in what seemingly became, in my eyes, a person who literally could no longer live in his own skin! I was angry that he could betray a person's trust... I was ANGRY that my trust was betrayed, I was angry that someone took away my childhood & I was ANGRY that all these years later that fact still cripples me. I'm ANGRY that I'm angry... huh "I'm angry?" Wait I'M "angry"...

I didn't realize I was angry until I went to the Memorial. Like I said I wasn't going to go I argued with everyone & even got into some pretty heated debates about the matter, some in public, but at the very last minute I decided to go. My mentor, Simone, used to work at Motown. This is the strongest & most powerful Woman I have ever known & by the grace of God she has taken a liking to me & has put me under her wing. She has been like a Mother to me, I'm not saying that just to say it because it's the nice thing to say & so damn cliche, but she truly has been like a Mother to me. ♥♥♥♥

When my Mother lost her power when my parents divorced I would watch Oprah & imagine my Mother had that strength, but that was imaginary I had to imagine that & pretend my Mother had it. Simone is REAL & the BOMB & loves me & always comes in clutch when I feel at my lowest. Whether it is with the tiniest or the grandest of gestures, a letter, a good talking to, an ear, a ticket to catch a Matinee at a theatre or reading me the riot act when all is said & done & I contemplate on all that has transpired after a Super Simone Session, she gives me my power back!!! I decided to go.

TJ & I on our way to the Staples Center in Brian's car

Honestly I was just going to sit in the nose bleed seats with my friend Chris I had also got a ticket for, who also I have been dying to repay my gratitude for getting me a gig on a Cruise to Mexico at the end of the month. Then I bumped into a very distressed friend of mine at the SLS Hotel where we are all meeting there to get our tickets. His extra ticket was STOLEN & it was for a FAB friend of mine that is a BRILLIANT Artist & so generous by nature, Brian Friedman from X-Factor & So You Think You Can Dance fame. Actually the very first Pilot Episode of Single Serving was shot in his kitchen & I had been DYING to show him my gratitude for a year. His ticket was stolen by none other than the very vile opportunist Omarosa Manigault & he flew in from London for this service.

There was NO way I would have him sit in the nose bleeds! I asked Simone if I could get a ticket for him. After 3 hours waiting to figure out what to do with one single extra ticket she gave it to me. Here I had both the nose bleed & the floor & opted to give Brian the floor seat feeling so happy that he gets to enjoy this the way he deserves to. As we were driving into the lot... Super Simone texted & said she had an extra ticket, come meet her. She took his ticket & gave us 2 tickets & said "now you two can sit together".... HAVE YOU EVER?!?!? We walked the black carpet, took pics & Chris Brown walked right past us. I gave my extra ticket to TJ & he called a friend over to pick them up within minutes, how the hell did I end up with 4 tickets last minute like that for the greatest Memorial service to a musical legend?

Brian & I on the "Black carpet"♥

I sat 6 rows behind the family. I could see EVERYTHING! At first before... Michael was brought in it was all about the cool factor. The row before me was John Mayer & Reverend Al Sharpton sitting together the row before that was Tyler Perry & he walked over to greet John & Al, I was surprised how respectful they were all with one another. Usher, Gladys Knight, Telma Hopkins, John Salley, the ENTIRE Motown family all around me. Behind me was Kobe Bryant... HELLO, he OWNS the Staples Center... how in the hell is he sitting BEHIND me?!?!? Then it was like celebrity whiplash... "Well hello Barbara Walters, I don't feel so bad about missing The View today since you are too... Corey Feldman... why are you dressed like Michael TODAY, what's wrong with you?!?!? OMG is that Willis & Stoney Jackson?!?!? Wait... why in the hell do I remember Stoney Jackson's name?" I have the memory of a damn elephant!

The amount of stars & pseudo-stars sitting behind us was staggering. I sat next to James Ingram & told him how "I don't have the Heart" got me through the 9th grade because I was in love with my best friend who loved me, but not the way I wanted him to... he burst out & sang it in my ear... my eyes welled up. Then Patti Austin sat 2 rows behind me & they busted out an impromptu rendition of "Baby Come To Me", I guess that's how they greet each other & he turns to me & says "that's my musical wife".. Brian & I look at each other "what in the hell are we doing here, how did this happen?"

James Ingram

Dionne Warrick walks by making the rounds to greet old friends & says hello to James turns to Brian & I & introduces herself to us... Oh man I could go on & on with the coolness factor stories but this blog could go on FOREVER if I did. Time to move on to the Service. The brothers wearing one sequined glove bring in the gold casket. The performances start & it wasn't until my musical idol Stevie Wonder sang "They Won't Go When I Go" a song I always imagined playing at my funeral the reality of sadness hit, I shed a tear for the first time for Michael.

Berry Gordy got up & said a beautiful eulogy & images of Michael & his music flashed, once again it was about the "music" & the "memories". He chronicled the milestones & I knew everything he was going to say as he said it because those were my milestones also. Rev. Al Sharpton whom I've always been eh about, his controversial stances on several issues rub me the wrong way he got up & spoke about the "Man". I found it fitting one controversial icon spoke so fervently & earnestly about another... he KILLED IT when he said this:

My memories turned into realizations of how angry, judgmental, removed from family & unforgiving I am this is where I had that "I'm ANGRY?" epiphany I spoke of earlier, it hit me right then & there. I was mortified because hiding in all that anger & negativity was the 4th aspect of this icon... his message. I forgot how charitable he was. I forgot how loving he was. I forgot how the message in his music would propel the masses to reach for a better life. I FORGOT THE MESSAGE!!!! Then the children got on stage & I watched Paris console & hold her little brother like a little mother. I kept turning to Brian, she's SO strong she's SO STRONG! Then... she spoke.

The Family

It felt like I got kicked in both my face & my gut repeatedly. How did I become so hardened? He was also someone's father, the father of 3 beautiful young people. NO WORDS!!!! Even in death his message, the message about his life no matter how great or how tragic it was affected me... *chills* I don't know, I guess I'm rambling, I'm hoping this all makes sense to you as you're reading this but I have to apologize because it's all starting to develop to make sense to me, but I felt compelled to say something today. Thank you ♥Miss Sharette Driver♥ for challenging me & the position I held 48 hours ago. I still believe that something wasn't "kosher" about his relationship with children, but I am NOT a Judge that is between him & God & I am ok with that. I no longer need to be angry about it.

There's ALWAYS a method to one's greatness & madness & I am NO exception... this was an incredible lesson for me about humanity.

I am forever changed.

Jermaine's stirring rendition of Charlie Chaplin's "Smile" MJ's favorite song.

The family hugging Usher after his performance