Between My Headphones: When I am wrong... I'm WRONG!

Yup & I ALWAYS admit it when I am & this is thee biggest pill I've had to swallow yet.... in 2010. Many times, even on here I've expressed my dislike for Lady GaGa aka GagGag, but unexpectedly the hook & sick beat for "Bad Romance" got me & the video made me wet myself... from sweating, DUH! I thought it was a fluke so I paid no mind to it, I gave her ONE hit & that was it... then I watched her on Oprah & saw what she did for Haiti & how genuinely humbled she was for her success & the blessings she has recieved from her generous "Little Monster" fans, so I gave her TWO! Then the song Telephone came out, I tried to play it off "ok that's cool"... a week later I secretly had that jam on repeat & told NO ONE! I was like a binge eating bulimic for the hectic, multifaceted beats.

Then yesterday the video came out & DAGNABBIT... I'm freaking HOOOOOKED! That's THREE... Diva did a hat trick on me. The utter filth, rawness, girl power sexy, confident, trash, balls, all that insanity, Miss B looking like a Black Bettie Page, non sequitur images & dialogue, couture, mad unabashed product placements, mayhem, mass murdering, drop bass that just smacks your ass, 11 flippin' costume changes, raunch & glam all wrapped up in under 10 minutes... UGH, it's a wrap for me! I wouldn't say I'm a Monster but God blessed the chick is SICK & I HAVE to give her her dayum props, not like she needs me to cosign for her on her talent... HA! I can't wait to hit the club with my Gays tonight & dance this madness off! So "tonight I'm not takin' no calls cause I'll be dancin'... I'm BUSY!"

STOKED!: I Have A Song!!!

I know I've been MIA, but until 7 am PST on 4/10/10 I can't explain why, trust you're going to be just as stoked as I am... but I had to come on here prior just to share thee most AMAZING gift I have ev-ER received... actually I'm lying it's a super tie with Shannon Pope animating me for Single Serving, that was a dream I always had... but inspiring a song, being a Muse for such an incredible thing as music is a notion I never thought I deserved. On top of that, aside of material things I don't have much, I rent... I'm single, I finance my car... shoot neither of my folks own a home for me to go to. It's been my life's mission to have a place of my very own... to own something, something that is mine & NO ONE can take away from me. To belong to something, to inspire someone, to belong to someone... hmm, didn't expect to say that publicly... (screw it!) but I will say that I am extremely lucky enough to own a spot in the hearts of those that care about me the most & I am proud to announce that I have a song of my very own. My very talented, beautiful & BRILLIANT friend has written one for me... WOW, I'm speechless. I can't do this justice by trying to find the words to explain how this feels. Click below to read the lyrics & hear the gorgeous song by Ken Christianson to hear "my song". I hope you enjoy it half as much as I do:

http://wp.me/p8ki8-ks

Worth Repeating: I Want To Live In My Dreams

Oh yeah time just stops when I listen to this. It's so simple, sexy, hopeful & so beautiful. Dreamworld by Robin Thicke... enjoy! RIP in Shaniya.

(The embedding to Robin's video on youtube is disabled so here's a video clip that I made as a tribute for a benefit my friends & I held to raise money to help the victims of the Australian Bushfires)

Between My Headphones: The Land of (fa la la la) LA I'm inspired

Ok so last night BLEW! Just one of the many pitfalls of being single in this new era of technology but I guess one of the cool parts of 2009 is that I can put on blast or praise someone via this blog. In my action packed weekend I spent a lot of time talking about my adventures on Saturday & Sunday & although everything went so well on those days my favorite & probably one of my favourite days all year was on Friday. Now for the upside of being a single chick in the Land of LA. I hung out with this sweet, sweet guy for a second time. The first time we hung out we played records all night... VINYL!!! Who does that anymore?!?!? It reminded me of the Sundays I had growing up when my dad would take a dip in the pool in the morning grab his towel come back into the house & sit on his towel on the floor for hours playing his records.

He'd play thee widest range of records from Haitian standards like Tabou Combo to Patsy Cline to Stevie Wonder to Gato Barbieri to Redd Foxx comedy albums to Charles Aznavour to Oscar De Leon to Roger Whitaker & Earth, Wind & Fire. My brother & I didn't dare speak to him during this time, for hours it was just him & his music a world he so gladly wanted to reside in for just those few hours on a Sunday & we all respected that, hell we were being entertained also by the vast array of recorded brilliance. I definitely inherited this ability from my father to live between my headphones. To hear the popping sounds of the vinyl on this guy's speakers as we kept the volume low in order not to wake anyone because it was late was a sense memory I greatly missed. He introduced me to an incredible country crooner Ray Price. I adore musical discoveries & learning about someone I would have not had the opportunity to know about.

The whole night I was mesmerized by him & kept referring to him as this old soul. He was 27 at the time & I was just in awe of how much musical knowledge he had & that he still played records I mean in this day of texting to start & cancel flipping dates I mean really... WHO DOES THAT ANYMORE?!?!?!? He was a perfect gentleman the whole night, it was really sweet. Cut to Friday night I went to his new place he made me a drink & asked me all sorts of questions about who I am & where I'm from & what I want from life... that was cool. Living my life publicly online I have so many people that think they know me & I share blood with people who have absolutely NO CLUE who I am so it was really nice to have someone ask & gauge by their expression whether they gave a hoot or not as I peeled away the layers of myself. He asked me all these questions as we stood in the kitchen, he had a red KitchenAid food processor the same one I have & exclaimed Sur La Table was one of his favorite stores & that he had mad skills in the kitchen that was pretty cute also. I asked him to show me around his new place & he gladly accommodated.

When we got to his room there were Blackbirds he stenciled all over his walls, a futon mattress on the floor smack dab in the middle of the room, a closet full of bits & pieces of motorcycle parts, a massive desk with every gadget known to man, a big screen TV & a wall of books loaded with the classics. I sat at his desk facing the Blackbirds & the books trying to absorb every piece of this space I was in. John Steinbeck, Ayn Rand, Ray Bradbury, Chuck Palahniuk I mean the lists of books can go on & on & I could smell them from across the room as if I were in the library that's how many times these books had been open & shut shaping this young man's perspective about life, loss & love. I was in absolute awe & wasn't hiding this fact. He asked me what I liked to read & I told him although it was something I have always wanted to do when I was younger, aside from reading poetry, I never built up the confidence to read, I mean to lose yourself in a book is a very intimate experience & I still kick myself for never trying. I let my ADHD get the best of me. I asked what he was reading & sure enough he pulled a dog earred riddled book from his satchel... a book by one of his favorites Ray Bradbury, he opened it took a whiff of the book, flipped the pages, closed it & then held it near his heart. A sentiment I understood just by watching him do it but never personally experienced.

Now it was my turn to interview him. He's from the Midwest, Minnesota the home of Prince. Attended art school at Cal Arts, by trade he sketches & designs rugs for high end clientele & on the weekends he fixes & builds motorcycles. Sitting on his dining room table was this huge old engine he used for practice this thing was loaded with carbon deposits & high speed glazing... some of the spark plugs were removed as if he were piecing together pieces of the puzzle to understand how to make his engine better for when it came time to & he was confident enough in what he did to this old engine he can go off to soup up his baby that was waiting for his care. I thought that was pretty damn cool too! Even though motorcycles scare the crap out of me & I've lost 4 people to accidents on those things. It was another thing I could identify with even though I didn't understand. Then he said his real passion was music... he's a musician *tire screeches* ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR HOLD UP?!?!? Besides being passionate about books, art, vinyl records & motorcycles there's still room for you to make music?!?!?

His G4 was playing his itunes the entire time so I asked did he have anything on his itunes? He said yes. I asked "can you play something". He got all coy & humble & was like it's on shuffle, something will come up... I was insistent "NO, I want to hear something of YOURS"... again he gets all modest "don't worry something will pop up" he says. I was like screw that I start typing a K in the search of his itunes, he pops over & was like "fine" he finished typing his name & literally HUNDREDS of songs popped up... he was like the White Tupac there were so many! I had one of those cartoon moments when my eyeballs leapt from my eye sockets & then he played a song called the "Twelfth of Never" this old Johnny Mathis song my Mom loved & a cover from Jeff Buckley that I absolutely adored from his Live At Sin-e album. It took everything in my power to not burst into tears, the haunting sound of his voice was so reminiscent of one of my very favorite artists of all time & a live version of Jeff Buckley's Elton John cover We All Fall In Love Sometimes that I listen to every other day... it's my therapy

Hell I LOVE a lot of music & have a hard time listing who my favorite artists are in order not to leave anyone out but I ALWAYS name Jeff Buckley as one of them, hey it's even on the profile description to this blog, he Chris Cornell & Stevie Wonder keep me sane... ok rambling again.

You can tell in his stylings that Jeff Buckley is a HUGE influence on him but as we went through more & more of his library his voice changed & adapted to whatever mood he was in or what his song was about & what inspired him at that exact moment. At one point he played one of his live songs & I was like "WHOAH you can totally tell your eyes are closed here & you're standing in a room of strangers with your eyes closed baring your soul.. singing, how freaking ballsy is that?" Again with great humility he brushed this off as no biggie. We must of went through 50 or 60 songs every one of them as fantastic as whatever preceded it. He played the guitar, the piano, the flippin' violin & wrote & arranged every single one of his songs & recorded them in his bedroom, hence the mattress on the floor... he needs the space for his creativity to flow. At one point I just grabbed his head my fingers ran between his vaguely salt & pepper curls & said "all of this is in your head", he was like "what do you mean?" I replied "All this passion & respect for literature, art, music & flipping engines are in THAT head?!?!?" He laughed & replied "yeah".

I stayed there until 3 soaking every ounce of this Man's creativity in. His birthday was the week before he's now 28, he made it past Saturn's return & I see nothing but greatness in his future. Before I left I excused myself to the bathroom, there was a book of haikus in there, I flipped through it took a whiff & placed it against my heart... hell I guess I can do that too... they're 3 line phrases of 5 then 7 then 5 syllables my ADHD behind can handle that!!! We exchanged blog addresses. I thanked him profusely for sharing his gifts with me he walked me to my car & we hugged.

The whole way I drove home a little past 3 am I was so happy to be this single chick that gets to experience meeting someone like that only in the Land of LA... yeah this place has it's perks & that's definitely the best part of it. All these young, brilliant & ballsy people all within this creatively palpable radius it was such a treat & an experience I will never forget. We're all just trying to make a difference it's the getting there part that's super difficult but man when we reach our destination... finally I wouldn't exchange a single experience I have had for the world... BELIEVE THAT! Sure enough when I got home & checked out his blog he submits a haiku a day... *swoon* this boy is good, he is damn good! Check out http://kenchristianson.com/. Thank you Ken Christianson for sharing. If any of you lasted this long please check out his MySpace & get the chills for yourself

Worth Repeating: Still On A Plane Waiting For The Dive.

I would like to once again thank Sean Lennon & his Friendly Fire album for getting me through this evening. I had a date cancel by text message tonight. I LOATHE TEXT MESSAGES!!!! They're so impersonal & another trick people are using nowadays to feel connected to one another but without having to risk ANYTHING in order not to get hurt. I feel like I live in this world where everyone is feeling safer being an arms length apart. I don't like them! Do I need to buy airtime for people to understand this?!?!? Listen, I know I'm not old fashioned but I KNOW I deserve the respect to be given a proper phone call a chance to hear your sincerity & a chance for you to hear that I'm ok with this cancellation.

Damn.. I keep holding up these standards in the land of LA no one is even trying to reach... bummer BUT thanks to music I am always inspired to hold on. The video for this is stun-NING but the embedding is disabled so please look it up on youtube if you've never seen it click this. I wish Sean wasn't treated like John Lennon's untalented bastard son trying to ride his coattails! He is so talented & under-appreciated! Well that's enough of my ranting for the night, this is not the tone I want to set on this blog but I had to just let it out, I'll just listen to this on repeat until I fall asleep. Sweet, sweet lullabies.


Lyrics:
Love is like an aero plane
You jump and then you pray
The lucky ones remain
In the clouds for days
If life is just a stage
Let's put on the best show
And let everyone know

[chorus]
Cause if I have to die tonight
I'd rather be with you
Cut the parachute before the dive
Baby don't you cry
You have to bring me down
We had some fun before we hit the ground

Love is like a hurricane
You know it's on the way
You think you can be brave
Underneath the waves
If life is just a dream
Which of us is dreaming
And who will wake up screaming

Cause if I have to die tonight
I'd rather be with you
Cut the parachute before the dive
Baby don't you cry
You have to bring me down
We had some fun before we hit the ground

Cause if I have to die tonight
I'd rather be with you
Cut the parachute before the dive
Baby don't you cry
You have to bring me down
We had some fun before we hit the ground

Cause if I have to die tonight
I'd rather it was you
Cut the parachute before the dive
Baby don't you cry
You have to bring me down
We had some fun before we hit the ground

Brain Food/Ab Work: I'm a Fool to Want You

I have wanted to get married at Union Station ever since I went there by chance with a former lover to pick up some friend's visiting from Australia 9 years ago. Something so romantic & sexy about train stations & trains. The chugging of the train is reminiscent of the beating heart & when it releases steam & the whistle blows it's like the sound you make inside when you meet someone that can potentially change your life. The architecture is stun-NING from the ceilings, moldings, archways, paneled walls to the marble floor, God IS really in the details.

They really don't make places like that anymore but what makes me love Union Station the most is sometimes I like to go there by myself & sit & watch people waiting in anticipation to greet loved ones they've greatly missed pacing back & forth & when that person coming from the gate is no longer a silhouette but that loved one who is just as relieved to be back in their arms, I choke up.

Or watching strangers say goodbye to the loved ones they will try to desperately find the courage to go through that period of time without. It's one of the few times I sit back without judgment or opinions & have complete optimism of how much we all need one another & the importance of having that one extremely special person to share your life with & share theirs. When I do meet him I can't imagine a greater place in the world for us to exchange our vows.

With that being said I didn't watch the Emmy's because I was shooting G.A.R. but someone posted this on their blog & I ♥ ♥ ♥ LOVE it!!!! Every single second of this is perfection & so many elements that I just ADORE! Not only is it directed by the director & starring the star of one of my favorite movies of all time Amelie, it's an ad for Chanel & I LOVE Chanel perfume*swoon* (Allure is my signature scent).

It takes place on a train & in a train station somewhere in PARIS, with a supermodel looking hot leading Man to fawn over, the clever way of symbolizing potential lovers as two trains passing in the night ON a train but no let's top ALL of that by brilliantly adding the element of the incomparable Miss Billie Holiday singing her haunting "I'm a Fool to Want You" from her album Lady in Satin playing in the background... I swear if they threw a Red Velvet Cupcake in there with a decadent slice of Pork Belly, a glass of Malbec & a pair of Louboutins I would've PASSED out because too many of my favorite things in 2 minutes is just TOO MUCH!

Well I've rambled enough. Here's to someday my train coming in & yours also...


OH & check out this new pic my Lovebug Shannon made for me for my birthday... couldn't you just DIE?!?!? Cupcakes & pink & heels & animated OH MY!

Between My Headphones: Sweet Stevie & Syreeta

It's BEYOND worth repeating I've had this which feels like I may have kept it on repeat for the entire day is this super under-appreciated song from my favorite Artist of ALL time. I'm going to let my guard down & enjoy life more.

Brain Food/Ab Work: Ooh Baby I Like It Raw...

Is there anything sexier than confidence & raw talent? *Swoon* I ♥ when a guy adds his twist to a Britney cover... but this one is in a whole other stratosphere. Enjoy!

Worth Repeating: HEY by The Pixies

Yeah I think I listened to this for an hour straight cruising the spot... I can't get enough of it!

Worth Repeating: The F-Word by Babybird

Today is Monday I hang once a week at Ange's house & catch up on FN shows & Oprah episodes I've missed since I'm living the cable/DVR free post Bush life... terrible! 

What has now become my weekly obsession is my Gordon Ramsay's The F-Word Marathon... damn I want to mop every bit of that man up with a biscuit & lick the plate after♥. 

The show is SO well produced, seriously one of the best produced shows I have ever seen... informative, honest, brutal, sexy, provocative, HYSTERICAL, dark, eye popping, salivating, fetching, thought provoking, vulgar & the food is just magnificent.... 

I end every marathon session with a cold shower after... FACT! 

Who knew English food could be so damn posh? Bloody brilliant. The best part after I watch is that I can't get the theme song out of my head ALL week... so here's a shout out to my main man Gordon ♥ & the infectiously catchy The F-Word by Babybird now on repeat on my ipod.

Baked: Guava & Cheese Cupcakes

I wanted to keep with the theme & basically use up the remaining eggs I had left & the rest of the guava & make cupcakes. I took a huge risk by adding Guava Nectar into the mix but hoped the fact I used whole wheat flour would manage it & boy did it. These are the first cupcakes I ever made that I could fill to the top & not worry about it spilling over in the oven, I think the juice made it do that. ♥

I also added mashed Guava Chunks, seriously softest cupcakes EVER! I do wish I got better paste though, like the one Goya makes. This one had MASSIVE seeds in it, how annoying removing them one by one, but at the end worth it, I made GUAVA CUPCAKES!!! Next time I will use egg replacement or just whites & rice or almond milk to make them a little more guilt free. 

If you want the recipe check it out on my bakespace http://www.bakespace.com/recipes/detail/Guava%20&%20Cheese%20Cupcakes/34845/# I think La Reyna Celia Cruz would be proud... AZUCAR! (even though I used agave nectar instead of Azucar... *snort*)

Between My Headphones, Worth Repeating Celia Cruz "La Vida Es Un Carnaval" read the translated lyrics, so amazing! Whoever made this did a GREAT job... ♥ ♥ ♥ long live the Queen! ♥ ♥ ♥


The Star Studded Cast: Guava & Cheese Cupcakes

Guayaba y Queso



SO fun!





Only I would find a way to cut myself making Cupcakes & there's no knife involved in the proces... terrible!

Cooked: Take Out TAKE DOWN "Philadelphia Cheesesteak Story"

I was having a BLAST yesterday on Facebook with old school friends back East reminiscing about our favorite '80's Wrestlers & favorite Boxers of ALL time! SO much fun, didn't realize how trailer park trashy we all were back in the day, then the conversation switched to my favorite food, Philly Cheesesteak! I whipped out the slicer... yes I have a meat slicer & NO my kitchen is TINY! Yes I am an idiot & NO I don't care, it's exactly at moments like these I need a kitchen full of junk to calm my ridiculous last minute food cravings, on a side note my favorite Philly shop is closed on Sundays! Ridiculous, huh? All the good Football & Basketball games are on a Sunday but these tummy teaser Commies are CLOSED! B.A.N.A.N.A.S. 

So once I got to slicing the meat I decided to have a Takeout TAKE DOWN, Sunday Cheesesteak.... Monday Night Beef Pad Thai. After living in LA for 11 years it was around my 8th year I discovered an adequate Philly. Once my girlfriend Andrea & I, she's from Philly, drove 2 hours to Orange County for a sandwich. They had real Amoroso Rolls shipped from Philly & WISE Potato Chips... oh dear God I would give the entire left side of my body for a bag of Cheez Doodles right now.... I'm SO PMSing.... sorry TMI! 

Anywho, I got sick of the long drives & paying $11 for a Philly made on French Bread & the one time I had a butcher slice some Ribeye for me he sliced it into chunks after I specifically told him what I was making... how is LA so slow when it comes to East Coast classics? I don't even want to discuss you can't get Calzones, Strombolis or a Cuban Sandwich at 2 AM after the club... terrible. Speaking of terrible I am BANNED from Cheez Whiz & Velveeta, does all sorts of crazy to my stomach so my sandwich couldn't rock the Whiz, but it was still good!♥

The Star Studded Cast

Paper Thin

I ♥ TOYS!

Philly Facial

Isn't this beautiful?

Almost done

Now, if your Philly doesn't finish with salt, pepper, oil, vinegar & oregano... your sandwich sucks, Kid!♥

Excuse me while I quote Rick Flair.... "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


BETWEEN MY HEADPHONES WORTH REPEATING PHILLY'S BEST & THE BEST BAND IN HIP HOP THE ROOTS "IT DON'T FEEL RIGHT"

Between My Headphones: Une Americaine a... Petite Tokyo?!?!

I met Rena & EDB in Little Tokyo for lunch & a bit of shopping. I stayed after they left & hit my favorite Market. Just my itunes on my iphone & I... oh & of course the FABULOUS Rupa & The April Fishes. She was born in San Francisco & is a first generation American of Indian (dot not feather) descent. 

She grew up in both San Fran & the South of France (can you feel my insane jealousy?) She became a Dr like a good first gen girl, but her love for music kicked her love for medicine's butt! She sings in English, French, Spanish & Hindi... brilliant! 

I listened to the whole album while I shopped & danced my way down aisle by aisle the entire time, can't imagine what the employees thought of me, but I did notice there were a lot of hand over mouth covered giggles every time I looked.

Worth Repeating "Une Americaine a Paris" from her debut album Extraordinary Rendition ♥

Between My Headphones: Fool for Beats, My April Fools Playlist

This one was hard to recommend which songs were Worth Repeating because I repeated so many so I'm just going to recommend three... OH this is so hard, should've known I would run to this when I admitted I repeat songs... UGH!

All I Need: Radiohead
The Racing Rats: The Editors
When I'm Down: Chris Cornell
1, 2, 3: Camille
Heaven: Lamb
Oceania: Björk
Ground Zero: Chris Cornell
Lunatico: Gotan Project
Messenger: Blonde Redhead
Smoke & Mirrors: RJD2
The Quest: Bryn Christopher
Hide and Seek: Imogen Heap
Bisounours: CocoRosie
The White Flash (ft Thom Yorke): Modeselektor
I Know: Josh Ralph
Dirty (Live): The Ettes
In a Manner of Speaking (Tuxedomoon): Nouvelle Vague
Hasta Ayer: Marc Anthony
Distractions: Zero 7
Help!: Tina Turner
Trust In Me: Susheela Raman
Miss Perfumado: Cesaria Evora
Secret: The Pierces
Shine Through It: Terrence Howard
Change: Max Lugavere
So What?: Pink
Midsummer Night Blues: Waldeck
Leave Me Alone (ft Natalie Imbruglia): Portishead
Bei Mir Bist Du Schön (Dub): Waldeck
Memories: Waldeck
Get Up... Carmen: Waldeck
Why Did We Fire the Gun?: Waldeck
Blossom Dearie - Just One Of Those Things: Brazilian Girls Remix
Those Were The Days: Dolly Parton

Oceania: Bjork one of my favorite videos of ALL time!


The White Flash (ft Thom Yorke) Modeselektor

The Quest: Bryn Christopher


OK OK I LIED you HAVE to hear this one too... so sick!
Bisonours: Cocorosie

Between My Headphones: My Champagne Taste & Your Beer Bottle Pocket

Timing is EVERYTHING! This classic Eartha Kitt song came on while I was writing, definitely worth repeating & I'm on the third play now. So funny! Hope all my gold diggers enjoy this! One of my FAVORITE Divas live in one of my favorite places on the planet, Australia, she is greatly missed, one of a kind!

Between My Headphones: Field Trippin' Soundtrack

My playlist today while I was enjoying the Market♥:
Beggin': Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons (Pilooski Edit)
Crap Kraft Dinner: Hot Chip
Naked As We Came: Iron and Wine
We All Fall In Love Sometimes: Jeff Buckley
Someone To Love: Kate Earl
I Cry: Lamb
Don't Speak: Leela James
The Beggar: Mos Def
Indulge Me: Olive
Everything In Its Right Place: Osunlade And Erro
This Mess We're In (ft Radiohead): PJ Harvey
Wish You Were Here: Radiohead
Tsunami: Res
No Surprises: Shawn Lee
Sign Your Name: Terence Trent D'Arby
Chocolate Jesus: Tom Waits
Overcome: Tricky
Creep (live Radiohead Cover): U2
Worth Repeating: Beggin' Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons (Pilooski Edit), my goodness I listened to this one day for 3 straight hours... it was like a descent into madness... SO MUCH FUN! I didn't repeat it that much today but a couple of times♥

How I Roll: The Revelation!

THE BEGINNING: It's crazy how life works. This time last year I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I lost my job I had for almost 9 years, I wasn't auditioning AT ALL during Pilot Season because I had booked a film 6 months prior, a looming SAG strike left everything hanging in the balance, THEN a $100,000 role in said film that completely collapsed a week before Production started & fell madly for someone I had a hard time trusting who didn't feel the same. 

I felt as everything was coming to an end, I felt the light in me died out. This was also the time Oprah was heavily touting Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth". I found the read to be very difficult & nothing was registering. I was all over the place. Knowing that instead of spending the rest of my life unhappy or searching for answers my gut was telling me the answers are in this book!

My girl Andrea who's a nut for all things creepy & is super adventurous (White people adventurous) was off to Honduras on a scuba diving trip with her younger sister Christina (that chick's a ROCKSTAR I tell ya.. in another blog to be exact). Mind you I had LOST my job, was about to lose my mind, on the verge of a devastating heartbreak, just about wiped my behind with a $100,00 check & flushed it down the toilet & I am NOT at all "White people adventurous" I asked them if I could tag along... BONKERS! 

The night I booked my ticket I realized this is what I needed while those girls go swimming with sharks... literally I could read the book. Absolutely NO distractions just me, the book, my ipod full of all of Oprah's A New Earth's podcast & lots of rice, beans & plantains (oh yeah another blog on that too).♥


ROATAN, HONDURAS: SO I left on the trip in April. I had this whole mantra, "when life hands you lemons squirt it on EVERYTHING!" Well... they didn't have any lemons on the Island just these super sweet & tangy limes. I squirted those puppies on Lobster, Fish, Beans, sucked on them with my tequila shots, pushed them into my beer & rubbed them into my hair on the beach & created Island Hooker Highlights... it was FAB!

I Swam with Dolphins, ate amazing food, read my chapters, watched the podcasts, snorkeled for the first time EVER (ridiculous... I'm from Miami, Black girls & their hair!), got burned to a crisp, spent a fabulous day at a spa then a horrific night with the spa director & reveled in this whole new concept to me about living in the now. When we returned I got a call from my homegirl from back home & former roommate, Michele. 

She had been calling me for a month & I refused to call her back because I felt every time I spoke to her I was like the bad news bears. I always had craptastic news to tell her & that made me feel awful. It's good to have friends you can depend on, but not to burden them when you are incomplete.

Feeling a glimmer of hope I answered her call. She asked what I was doing & I said nothing. She asked if I wanted to go with her to Vegas. Mind you still have NO job, NO movie & I went swimming with Dolphins in my thousand dollar weave just days before. I asked her when? She said in 3 hours I said "SCREW IT... I'm still packed count me in" I literally grabbed my suitcase full of bikinis & sandals & was off with her to drive to Vegas totally living in the now! 

We listened to Miami booty bass, hunted for Chick-Fil-A's & laughed the entire time... it was awesome. I had no idea what I was doing, how long I would be there & how I would get back, you see Michele booked a show out there & was moving there for 3 months.















VEGAS BABY: Being resourceful Miami girls Michele didn't want the food she had left to go bad, she packed some cheese & a couple of produce in a small cooler & a box full of dry & canned goods... FIERCE! Well the Chick-Fil-A hunt was a bust & we got to her hotel famished! Mind you the whole way there we thought this was a regular suite with a kitchenette figured we'd share a bed or I'd sleep on the couch when we got there... NO BOO, this place was Slam-MING! 2 bedrooms, marble floors, full kitchen, leather & suede... Geez we ran around like we won the lottery. Total chick flick moment when we grabbed each other & jumped up & down!!! 

Laundry, central AC, swimming pool, tennis court all that was fantastic but my God has my back moment was when I walked into the kitchen. My girl Dichen had been harping on me for a year to put together a "Vision board" (yeah I read The Secret too, Oprah told me to). I literally devised one up the week before I left to Honduras... & VOILA there it was smack dab in the middle of this fantastic state of the art kitchen was the Wolf stove I put on my board. 

I knew I would be there for a while. I was like a newly divorced woman in her 40's at the vibrator store *snort* sorry wanted to be more inventive then thee 'ol "kid in a candy store" cliche... get the gist? Got it? Good! I emptied out the cooler & the box & got cracking. I took some cheese, pasta sauce, angel hair, summer sausage, pepperoni, corn, black olives & the spices they had in the kitchen on one of those corny spice rack/utencil holder & 2 peeps from the show came over for dinner... THEY ALMOST PASSED OUT from how damn good the grub was. They were surprised, I wasn't I'm a Haitian girl we make everything bomb out of nothing.

Quickly everyone was saying I should have a cooking show & plotting all sorts of ideas & themes I was just eating it all up & laughing. It felt good to be out of my head & doing something that I LOVE & sharing it with people who were so INSANELY appreciative & just flat out taking care of another person & not all worried about myself. We drank tons of wine & had seconds, even thirds & it was off to club bed with DJ Pillow spinning the hottest jams all night long.
Oprah is the ONLY person featured repeatedly on my vision board her & ♥

*swoon*

THE NEXT DAY: Michele & crew went off to rehearsals. I took the car went to the bank, took out $100 & found a Food 4 Less I bought enough food for a week & a half for the 2 of us. When I got home Michele called me & was like people were freaking out about our dinner & people want to come over for dinner that night. 

MIND you we are in Vegas..... a newly minted crowned jewel for foodie's around the world. Emeril, Wolfgang Puck, Bobby Flay & the list goes on & on ALL have 5 Star restaurants up & down the strip! Nah... let's go over to Michele & Manouschka's for dinner from Food 4 Less *snort* That night I made Bistec Empanizado (A Cuban style chicken fried steak) & loaded Mashed Potatoes.... I think one of the dancers Kevin cried... it was awesome!

The next day Michele left me money & was like "you're on kitchen duty" I found a fantastic Organic market called Sunflower & went back to Food 4 Less & that's it EVERY night the crew came over to eat & even some mornings I packed them breakfast. It got larger & larger as the buzz about my culinary skills circled all around the cast & crew about these bombtastic dinners at Michele's crib & her girl that's stoked to cook & feed people. 

A week had passed. One day I decided to take the flat screen in the livingroom & face it into the kitchen, I discovered Food Network probably 2 months before & this was the week they had a Chefography Marathon... I don't know if it was the inspiring stories or the bottle of wine I had consumed that day but everything started to click.... things were coming together, hell just the week before I had strangers & one of my best girlfriends plotting my own cooking show. It was surreal. A fantastic moment.

THE REAL A-HA MOMENT: So the long of the short, I am STILL jobless, not auditioning & am barely speaking to the Dude I swore to myself I loved... I'm lamping on the couch watching the news & they mentioned Oprah's coming to town, and if you've lasted this far into my ridiculously long story then you deserve to know my girl Michele & all my new found "Dinner Club" friends were dancing for Cher & Oprah was in town to interview her & Tina... I FLIPPED OUT!!!! 

I spent 10 days in Honduras with her on my ipod & reading the book she promised me would change my life, well not me personally but screw it, it's MY story she was talking to me!!! I called Michele immediately by that time she didn't even know about the Oprah Taping yet... we had the chick flick moment again this time over the phone! I BEGGED her for tickets, shoot I met my FAVORITE New Kid Jordan Knight because of Michele maybe she could get me to Oprah too. 

Alas she told me she couldn't she was brand new to the production & didn't really know the staff all too well. Deflated but not defeated I motored to find another way to get to the show. Yadda yadda yadda 3 days go by, I get a call from Michele "YOU'RE GOING!!!" HOLY CRAP MONKEY I'm going to be under the same roof as Oprah, Cher, Gayle AND Tina... if that doesn't whip my butt into shape I don't know WHAT WILL?!?!?!

I called my Mom she told me to tell Oprah all sorts of things I was like MOM I am NOT going to meet Oprah, my Mom doesn't listen so she just kept yapping away of all the stuff I should tell her. I then called my best friend Kenny, he too went on a tangent on what I need to tell Oprah again another person in my life that likes to go on & on. I had 1 pretty dress packed in my "beach bag" & 1 pair of Louboutins with me I got all dolled up & it was off to Ceasar's Palace. 

I remember walking backstage & wondering who's Starwagon was outside. Just a regular run of the mill Hollywood Starwagon you see on every set. I figured it was for Mark Steines from Entertainment Tonight because ALL week they ran promos of the Big Vegas show with Oprah, Tina & Cher! Such a random thought. SO moving along, the show was FANTASTIC... I had goosebumps, they all looked FAB! My well fed dancers were RIPPING it & I'm squealing like a schoolgirl & hanging on every moment of the day... until Cher wanted to re-record her performance segment for the third time. I was done.

LONG LIVE THE QUEEN: I headed out & went backstage to wait for Michele & Lo & Behold.... literally HANGING out of the front door of the Starwagon barefooted was the Queen herself... I peed myself a bit! Walked quickly backstage & suddenly hit the brakes. I backed up went up to her & out of everything this woman has meant to me all of these years. Out of EVERY word of hers I joyfully hung onto & the years I literally imagined she was my own Mother & depended on her advice there was a plethora of things I could have thanked her for, my mind was blank & I heard my heart, I put my hand over it because I swore it was going to BURST out! Earnestly, I thanked her for the book A New Earth. That was it. 

All those years fantasizing & had a perfectly memorized Monologue of what I would tell her when I met her was gone like Elvis! I was REALLY living in my moment. She graciously wished me very well on my journey & said "how cool" is this whole experience? Mind you Oprah is the only person, place or thing that is on my vision board repeatedly. It was AMAZING. I thanked her again & swear I bowed my head to the Woman come to think of it & like the dork I am I skipped off backstage.

I opened the door backstage & a group of the LOVELIEST little older Black Ladies, smelling fresh & looking sharp proceed past me. Every single one made eye contact me & giggled & told me how lovely I was & I replied how absolutely FAB they all were, the last woman that wrangled all of these little Ladies required me to lift my head & there she was GAYLE! 

I squeaked "Hi Miss Gayle" & grabbed her arm... I TOUCHED GAYLE! We giggled & she liked my outfit but had to get all these little Dolls to a buffet probably... my girl LOVES to eat! I continued to walk backstage & then BAM with her hairdresser was Miss Tina herself still rocking the Louboutins she was jumping & kicking with onstage... sixty FREAKING Nine.... oh I was a step from going psychotic! I told her "you worked it in those Loboutins Girl" (I flipping called Tina "Girl" OMG) She & her hairdresser laughed & & she said "Thank You Darling". I couldn't believe it. Right then & there I felt like I was on my way.


LEAVING LAS VEGAS: Who'd a thunk after 3 weeks in Vegas I found my life's purpose. I can't thank Andrea, Christina, Michele, Dichen, Mom, Kenny, the "Dinner Club", Eckhart Tolle & OPRAH enough for that ethereal experience in Vegas. I had to honor every moment that transpired before then & realized they were perfectly packaged gifts from God & the Universe to get my act together. 

When you listen to the stories of Cher, Tina & Oprah they didn't lie about & become victims of circumstance. They fought long & hard to get to where they are & I was INVIGORATED. A little too invigorated. I jumped head first into finding a way to getting my own cooking show, I was full of hope, because it was the first time in a long time that I had any... Man a REALLY long time I was not prepared for the bumpy road ahead... more to come!♥♥♥

***Between My Headphones: My playlist I was jamming to as I wrote this***:
Simply Beautiful: Al Green
She's Only Happy In The Sun: Ben Harper
Always: Billy Corgan
Oceania [Kelis Remix]: Bjork
Me Gustas Cuando Callas (You Please me When Silent): Brazilian Girls
Pâle Septembre: Camille
Disappearing: One Chris Cornell
By Your Side: CocoRosie
Bigger, Stronger: Coldplay
I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You: Colin Hay
Cheers Darlin': Damien Rice
I Want You: Elvis Costello
Not Enuff: Love Faithless
Berekeke: Gerardo Azevedo
If You Want Me: Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova
Criminal: Gotan Project
The Truth: Handsome Boy Modeling School
Crap Kraft Dinner: Hot Chip
Worth Repeating: Pâle Septembre by Camille, must've listened to it over & over for 30 straight minutes (I miss my dancers, ENJOY):

English Translation of Lyrics:
Pale September
like it's so far
the sky without ashes
it was time for learning
under the number of days until
the sun covered
october

A tender man
and the beginning of November
deaf with advances of love
but which evils did I undertake
to get excited about him?

Dirty December
the sky in its weight
did you know that the salt statues
have stopped waiting for you?

Pale September
did you hear the death knell I rang?

I love you forever
I'm spreading love

The seasons pass but gracefully
we pretend that they resemble what they were

But who is this man who fell from the tower?
But who is this man who fell from the sky?
But who is this man who fell in love?

Pale September
like it's so far away
the sky without ashes
it was time for learning
*swoon*